Neuro-affirming Retreats
The In-Between Retreat

Diary Entry - Day 2

 

I woke up to the mountains again today. They’re so big they make my thoughts feel quieter, like the world has room for all of me up here. At breakfast I sat by the window and watched the snow clouds slide around the peaks, and I thought about how my brain is a bit like that too—sometimes clear, sometimes foggy, but always doing its own thing for a reason.

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Today at the retreat we talked about how we work, not how we’re “supposed” to work. I liked that. No fixing. No pretending. Just noticing. We did this activity where we mapped our energy—when it goes up, when it drops, what helps, what makes it harder. I realised I’m not lazy or dramatic when I need breaks. My brain just uses a lot of power. That feels like a relief I didn’t know I was holding my breath for.

Later we went for a walk and I found myself explaining things to someone else in the group, and it hit me that one of my strengths is understanding patterns and feelings, even when I can’t always explain my own. I’m good at noticing details—sounds, moods, tiny changes—and that’s not a weakness, even if it’s overwhelming sometimes. It’s kind of a superpower, if I learn how to look after it.

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Mum had her own sessions today. We met up in the afternoon and she looked different—softer somehow. She said she’s learning what it’s like to be my parent without always worrying she’s doing it wrong. She told me she’s realising that supporting me doesn’t mean pushing me to be less me. Hearing that made my chest feel warm and tight at the same time.

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We sat outside with hot chocolate, both wrapped in too many layers, and didn’t talk much. It felt nice not to have to explain myself. I think we’re both learning new languages here—me learning the language of my own brain, and Mum learning how to listen to it.

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Tonight I feel tired, but in a good way. Like when you’ve climbed something hard and you can finally stop and look around. I don’t have all the answers, but I feel more real. And up here, surrounded by mountains that don’t apologise for taking up space, that feels important.